Perhaps it is more
sacrificial of a sacrifice if no one knows that what you're doing is a
sacrifice to you. The reason they might
not know is because for them, it is the good life. But you have different desires and for you it
is a sacrifice. Or does no one ever
truly sacrifice? For a Christian who
"lays down her life to find it," doesn't she lay it down because what
she gives up is truly lesser than what she gains? And it wouldn't be a noble sacrifice at all
to forgo eternal joy as a sacrifice to endure the pains of life without Christ. No, what is sacrificed must be given up for
something that is truly better, though often painful in the mean time. Here is what the Lord says about this:
"To obey is better than sacrifice."
So do not sacrifice merely for the sake of sacrifice, but obey the Lord
and be willing to sacrifice everything, should he ask.
I'm realizing more
and more that I WANT to live overseas in the future. I have imagined raising my kids in another
country. Whenever I hear of young
families going overseas, I think to myself, "someday that will be me and
my family," and I start looking forward to it. I think that for me to live in America and
raise my kids here, would feel like a sacrifice. But for most people the opposite is
true. So it feels like, "why would
I need to sacrifice that if I could do what no one else wants to do and love
it?" The Lord is working
faithfully, to bring me to maturity, though I know not where he will lead
. I hope to delight in the Lord's will,
for in the center of his will is not sacrifice but abundance.
I wrote a sort of
poem (what my father mockingly calls doggerel--despite iambic pentameter, no
less!) along these lines:
King of Circumstance
Thought I had
figured out who I would be,
Knew how I'd go, and
where and what I'd see,
But questions come
that force me to my knees,
Was this a plan for
life, or merely training dreams?
Perhaps their
purpose lay inside my heart
So inclination would
not stray too far.
I pause and sigh,
with nervous backward glance,
And turn my gaze to
King of Circumstance.
It seems my path
will make another turn,
The New Way is more
diff'cult to discern.
Wherefore the views
my heart has grown to yearn?
Are these mere
borrowed dreams I must return?
So shall I open soul
to changing scene,
Humble myself to
follow One Who Leads.
With firm resolve,
but risking backward glance,
I fix my eyes on
King of Circumstance.
I know not how He
leads nor to what end,
I only know that He
is faithful friend,
Who gives me more
than I could ever spend,
Would He, in gentle
love, my heart dare rend?
Mature his vision of
what I must bear,
Prepared for heaven
when I meet Him there.
A steadfast heart,
with nary backward glance,
I fully trust my
King of Circumstance.
