25 pages...

means I have just finished writing the longest paper of my life.

I am happy to say I have come a long ways in paper-writing since I first started this blog.  No, I do not have many blog posts to show for the paper I just finished.  But I understand the process a lot better.  Or rather, I've developed a process that's starting to work for me.

For this paper I knew I had to start more than a month in advance for several reasons: 1) I had never written a paper longer than 16 pages and didn't even know if I was capable of writing 25 pages of double-spaced text; 2) my prof straight up required us to have 20 sources; 3) I decided based on previous paper-writing experiences that familiarity with sources definitely helps the medicine go down; 4) reading 20 sources takes a very long time.

Well, I didn't end up reading 20 sources, but I did read significant parts of at least 13 sources.  In fact, out of all the time I spent on this paper, probably about half of it was spent reading and taking notes on sources.  I hadn't written anything aside from a single blog entry (on the medical model) until less than a week before my paper was due.

For the sake of drama, let me chronicle the last few days of the process leading up to the Monday 12:30pm due date:

Thursday.  Usually I'd be busy seeing clients all day, but I had half the day off, so I finished reading a source I had started and was able to write the first 2 pages of my paper.

Friday. After working two hours at my job in the morning I come home and send out a call to prayer by email to faithful friends letting them know I'm feeling quite overwhelmed at the prospect of writing 23 more pages by Monday.  I work until my meeting at 5pm, and still have only written 2 more pages.  The girls I meet with from 5-6:15pm encourage me that God will help me write my paper.  I go home and write another 4 pages, and also add in the blog about the medical model, which puts me up to 9 pages.  I am not feeling very happy with the pace of my writing and estimate that if I continue at the same pace I will not finish on time.

Saturday.  I wake up and read my Bible and ask Jesus to help me with my paper.  While I am praying, I get the idea that instead of writing sections of the paper in order, section by section, I should try writing source by source, and just plug in the information from each source into the appropriate section.  I apply this strategy and work until a bridal shower that night, with a brief break to choreograph some of my new rap parody.  By the time I leave for the shower I have 17 pages, which has me feeling very pleased.  I come home and am able to add only 1 more page, putting my total up to 18.  I have finished adding the information from all my source notes, and I go to bed.

Sunday. It's my Sabbath, so I don't work on my paper at all.  Now maybe you understand why I was afraid of not finishing.

Monday.  I wake up at 6am and work straight until 11:45am.  I had been sleeping a little fitfully the night before and woke up ready to start working.  I had been worried about what I would add to my paper, not knowing how I would get another 7 pages since I had already used the information from my sources.  But I just start working through the paper and adding transitions and explanations between all the information from my sources, and the paper keeps growing.  At 11:45 I had three lines on the 25th page.  Done.  I emailed it in and left the house within ten minutes to catch the bus.  I even made it to class on time.  I feel AWESOME!  I think I am smiling super huge and dancing in my seat the whole bus ride.  I try not to smile to big at my classmates who all look dead tired, but I feel FULL of energy and enthusiasm.

What did I learn? 

1. Source by source writing is TONS easier than section by section writing.  Before I wasted so much time looking for the facts I needed and wondering if I was missing anything.  This way it was all included and I just put it in whatever section needed it most.  I'm really thankful God shared that secret with me :)
2. Jesus provides for me!  And that's why I take a Sabbath, to remember that Jesus can provide for me and does provide for me despite my best efforts.
3. Reading sources and taking notes on them is worth it.
4. I can write 9 pages in one day.
5. Starting to actually write more than a week in advance would probably be a great idea next time.
6. Finishing a task that seemed overwhelming and impossible well and on time is a completely exhilarating feeling!

Oh, and the paper was about evidence-based practice in psychology, but who cares?

Writing more

Having just finished reading an article about experts in various fields, I am struck with the conviction that I will not improve at writing unless I write more.  I do desire to be a better writer.  This desire comes mostly from feeling like I have not been able to write a good paper for my entire career in grad school (of a 5 month duration so far).  I have written three papers, each of which I considered severely lacking.  Not only were these papers severely lacking in preparation, insight, voice, and above all overall quality, they were also consuming and depressing as I attempted to engage in the writing process.  The latter is more problematic in my opinion.

It seems obvious that in order to be a better writer I would have to write more.  And I am not opposed to writing.  It's just that, like anything, it takes time.  As a grad student, time can be hard to come by.  So why am I actually deciding to spend time on writing a blog?  There are several things that moved me from inaction to action.  The first and most pressing is that I know I will have to write many papers in grad school.  Looming at the end of this five year endeavor is a dissertation, long and ominous.  Judging by the three papers I have already written, there are major kinks that need to be taken care of for me to not be completely overwhelmed and defeated by said monster dissertation in several years.  Also, I am hoping that my writing will improve faster, so that papers in the mean time will be less painful and end in more satisfaction and less resignation.  The second thing is people keep telling me to write more.  I heard one of my classmates give a personal testimony of how writing every day for 45 minutes last semester has helped him improve his writing.  In addition, by practicing his writing he has the added benefit of working ahead on many of his assignments, i.e. papers.  And of course there is my dad, who always encourages me and my brother to write more and practices writing more himself through blogs and book reports etc.  The third thing is that I actually enjoy some kinds of writing, and I take pleasure in feeling I have written something well.  My favorite kind of writing is reflective writing, because it helps me to sort out my thoughts and feelings.  I find it therapeutic and calming.  The fourth, and more immediate impetus, is as I mentioned already the article I read about experts, Supershrinks.  The article notes that the people who become the best in their field are those who practice skills a step above themselves, and who seek out feedback.

Thus I have undertaken a blog.  For now this is the purpose of my blog: to be a place to practice writing regularly and improve in all kinds of writing, but particularly academic writing.  To develop my voice.  To sort out my thoughts.  To write.  I know that I will be tempted to write only reflective posts, and not practice academic writing.  Since currently to me, academic writing is the bane of my existence, while reflecting is one of my favorite things to do and I feel I never have enough time to reflect.  So perhaps this blog will be a compromise, with some reflective posts, and, I sincerely hope, some academic posts.

Here are some of my ideas about what good academic writing entails: 1) Sources and familiarity with them.  I feel this is a step I often lack, since I procrastinate on writing papers and then feel I must move on to the actual writing so quickly that I do not take (or possess) the time to actually digest a source and become familiar with it.  2) Organization.  I feel this is an important step, and I often try to devote a large percentage of my time to this step, since I feel it really helps focus my writing and give me a plan for where to go.  Plus I am a planner at heart.  3) Writing.  Duh!  Yeah, this is the part where I sit down and try to write my paper, following my outline, and also being careful to figure out which source information is coming from and site a lot.  So this step incorporates steps 1 and 2 because I am using my sources and following the plan of my outline.  Usually I struggle with this step and I often wonder if it is because I haven't done steps 1 and 2 well.

For today I'll conclude that I've heard many people say to just sit down and start writing the paper.  The reason this rubs me so wrong is because what about sources!!!?  What about direction??  How can I sit down and start writing if I don't even know what I'm talking about?  How can I sit down and start writing without first figuring out the direction I want my paper to go?  So then I think to myself that probably what they really mean is, just sit down and start writing the paper after you've become fairly familiar with your sources and thought about what direction you would like your paper to go.