When I was 22...

I started my 23rd year with a long day of interviewing for grad school.  It turned out to be the longest, most tiring interview out of all of them.  It also turned out to be worth it, since it was an interview for the school I now attend as a first year Counseling Psychology doctoral student.  Because I planned to be at interviews all day, my expectations were very low.  I didn't expect anyone I was around to know it was my birthday, and none of the people who knew it was my birthday would have access to me.  So I was delighted when my parents called me internationally to wish me happy birthday, as I was being driven to campus.  And the day ended with ice cream and a good conversation with my host, who is now my roommate!

In my 23rd year God provided for me greatly.  He got me accepted at one school, so I would know where to go.  He affirmed me in his plan for me by giving me a housing offer from my roommate, the very same day I decided to go to the program.  He also gave me funding through an assistantship two days later.  He had me invited to go to a church at an interview, so that I would want to check out the sister church in the town I ended up in.  And that church has made all the difference here.  God graduated me from college.  He gave me rest during the summer.  He gave me a life in a new town.  He gave me a road bike AND a car.

There were many hard things.  I struggled to learn how to rest.  I had to cut back and give up activities I enjoyed.  I had to say goodbye to many, many friends, and a community in which I was known and respected.  I had to come to terms with unfulfilled desires.  I had to give up a boy, which proved difficult in a different way than with my only other boyfriend.  I struggled, and still struggle with making friends in a new place.  I experienced loneliness in a deeper way than ever before.  I worked hard at school.  Satan tried to wrest my hopes away from me, but God wouldn't let them be swept away completely.

I learned about the power of the Holy Spirit and about God's voice, in a way that increased my desire, humbled my self-image, and yet led to more frustration with a lesson on patience and perseverance.  I learned that God wants to be my best friend.

What has God been teaching you lately?

Birthdays

Hard to believe another year has passed.  I am about to be a new age.  I've always liked my birthday because I like feeling special, and my birthday is a day that's special just for me among my immediate family and friends.  I truly do not envy those who have their birthdays near Christmas, Mother's Day, [Taiwanese] Father's Day, or any other holiday.  Birthdays also bring me to a place of reflection, which I usually savor.  How is my life different now than it was in past years?  What does it feel like to be older?  What did I think this age would be like when I was younger?  What new things have I learned and accomplished?  And what do I think the next year will hold?  Who are my friends?

The reason I ask who my friends are, is because I want to do something special on my birthday.  I don't want to spend it alone.  Wanting things to be special can be problematic though, because there's this whole issue of expectations.  If I want it to be special, but it's not: disappointment.  And who wants to spend their birthday feeling disappointed?  So I find myself both asking and answering the question of who my friends are on my birthday.  First I ask the question for people in my same geographical location, so that I know who to celebrate with.  Then I answer the question by subconsciously keeping track of who remembers or wishes me a happy birthday.  And because I like being remembered and recognized on my birthday, but I know that a lot of my friends just don't have that great of memories for birthdays, I also drop a few hints in the weeks leading up to my birthday.  I've found that I'm a lot more likely to be remembered on my birthday just by giving people the chance to find out my birthday is soon!  I suppose that's a partial strategy for making my birthday more special and less disappointing.

It's pretty selfish!  Why does it matter so much to me to feel special and remembered?  On occasions I've considered what a birthday would be like prior to which I did not drop any hints and instead made it special by planning to bless others in my life on that day.  Maybe it would be better to give on my birthday instead of desiring to receive.  In fact that seems really similar to a Bible verse I've heard...along the lines of "it is more blessed to give than receive."  Why can't I actually believe that?

Do you like to feel special on your birthday?  What can make that day special for you?

Hoops to Licensure Cont.

As promised...
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Also known as the Examination for Professional Practice in Psychology, the EPPP is required for licensure in all states and provinces.  It is a computerized written examination designed to test 8 major content areas (each comprising 8-15% of the entire exam) that are seen by the Association of State and Provincial Psychology Boards (ASPPB) as "foundational to the competent practice of psychology."  The exam has 225 multiple choice questions with four answers each and no penalty for incorrect answers.  As of Aug 2011, only 175 of those questions will contribute to your score (previously 200 of those items were scored).  The rest are pretest items for validity testing.  The scores for this test are scaled from 200-800 just like all the other major scholastic tests of life, i.e. the SAT and GRE.  In most jurisdictions a score of 500 or more is passing, and that is also the ASPPB recommended passing score.

But wait there's more!  In addition to passing the EPPP, all states require a certain amount of supervised experience.  Frankly, I'm still quite confused about how many states allow for some of these hours to be before your doctoral degree is conferred.  In general, I am under the impression that most states only allow you to count hours after you have received your doctorate, which would mean not counting any of your hundreds of practicum hours during graduate school, nor your thousand or more hours during internship.  The general standard for supervised experience seems to be around 1500 to 2000, though some jurisdictions may require up to 4000-6000 hours.  However, things in this arena may be changing, as the Commission on Education and Training Leading to Licensure recently recommended two years of experience (equivalent to around 2000 hours) as sufficient preparation for licensure, allowing for one or possibly both of those years to be before receiving a doctoral degree.

Furthermore, many states require additional exams.  The possibilities include an oral exam, a jurisprudence exam, and ethics or other exams.  These vary widely by jurisdiction, and anyone seeking licensure would be well advised to look up the specific requirements per state of choice.

After all of these requirements have been successfully navigated, you will apply for licensure in a given state.  This process entails filling out an application and having credentials and transcripts and records of hours all sent to the licensing board of said state, as well as an application fee, of course.  Then you will be a Psychologist.  Not a clinical psychologist or a counseling psychologist or an industrial organizational psychologist, everyone gets the same title: Psychologist.
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Coming soon: Certification Above and Beyond: Options for Overachievers

Hoops to Licensure

The only reason I'm writing right now is because I have accountability, and I have not written anything academic yet, nor have I written anything at all in several days.  I haven't read many sources yet, but I have read a few, so here goes...a rough, rough draft putting together some thoughts from my readings so far.
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Licensure as a psychologist is about jumping through a series of hoops, in order.  According to one source, the proportion of time that it takes to become licensed as a psychologist, compared to the median amount of money a psychologist makes, is significantly less than other professions, being a doctor for example.  So the hoops must completed in order, and there may be some slight variations based on your state of residence or choice.  First, you must apply to and enroll in an APA accredited program.  Check, that's the only thing on the list that I've accomplished so far.  Next, you must complete your doctoral degree.  Read, you must pass a number of classes, accumulate debt as a graduate student, spend hundreds of hours in practicum training, and write a dissertation.  Not only that, but in completion of your doctoral degree you must apply for internship sites and go through the match process to determine where you will be located for a year of your existence, likely uprooting you from the support networks you formed in graduate school and potentially causing relationship strife with any significant others (at least that's what I've heard).  After a successful supervised internship year at an APA accredited site, if you have finished your dissertation, then your doctoral degree will be conferred upon you.  Next hoop: the EPPP.  Also known as the...
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to be continued, I've met my 15 min quota for the night ;)

Hopes and Fears for Counseling

The purpose of the present post is to complete an assignment.  Surprisingly, though an assignment, this post will be a reflective post.  Fortuitously I have one class this semester that requires regular reflective posts.  But rest assured, I also already have academic papers that have been assigned for the semester, so practice on that front will be unavoidable.
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What are my hopes and fears for counseling this semester?  In learning a new skill it is only natural that I hope to be good at it.  Yes, I hope that the people I counsel will experience positive change in their lives as a result of our time together.  I hope to be a good listener for each client I see.  I hope that my clients feel accepted and encouraged by me.  I want to be a voice of encouragement in situations of despair and disappointment.  I want to help my clients gain insight into their lives.  I hope that they will get a glimpse of God's love for each of them, through me.  I hope my clients will trust me and be honest with me.

However, I also know that I will not be good at counseling.  So I have hopes to learn this semester.  I hope to learn from my supervisor, my peers, and my clients about things I am doing well, things I am doing poorly, and things I can do to improve.  I hope to learn to how to solicit honest feedback from my clients.  I hope to receive feedback well, and to learn much from it.  I hope to gain insight and method in the way that I think about individual clients, reflect on past sessions, and plan for future sessions.  I hope that a theory will find me, or at least begin to find me.

Practically, I hope for a good caseload.  I hope for clients who will be reliable in returning phone calls, coming to appointments, and calling to cancel an appointment.  I hope for very few no-shows, even though I have been told this wish is unlikely to be fulfilled.

I also hope, as in everything that I do, to learn more about God through counseling.  I hope to gain his heart of compassion for each person I meet with.  I hope to understand his purpose for me and for the world in a deeper way.  I hope to hear from him what he thinks about each of my clients, and commit each of them to him in prayer.

I fear going into sessions and not knowing what to do or what to say.  I fear being panicked when the time comes to bring the client in from the waiting room.  I fear handling an emergency or a suicidal client, and messing up the procedure for what I'm supposed to do at the CAC.  I hope to commit these fears to God in prayer, so that I am not overwhelmed by them.

I am afraid of disappointing my supervisor, because I want his approval.  I hope for a great relationship with him.

I worry that I will be so busy with other schoolwork that I will neglect doing things that I should to prepare for sessions.  I do not know how much time I will spend watching tapes and preparing for sessions.  I think that there will always be more that I could do to prepare, and I worry about not doing enough.  Thus I fear not being able to manage all my responsibilities well, and being distracted in all I undertake.  I hope to find a good balance.
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I wonder if this post would have been much different if I had also included expectations.

Writing more

Having just finished reading an article about experts in various fields, I am struck with the conviction that I will not improve at writing unless I write more.  I do desire to be a better writer.  This desire comes mostly from feeling like I have not been able to write a good paper for my entire career in grad school (of a 5 month duration so far).  I have written three papers, each of which I considered severely lacking.  Not only were these papers severely lacking in preparation, insight, voice, and above all overall quality, they were also consuming and depressing as I attempted to engage in the writing process.  The latter is more problematic in my opinion.

It seems obvious that in order to be a better writer I would have to write more.  And I am not opposed to writing.  It's just that, like anything, it takes time.  As a grad student, time can be hard to come by.  So why am I actually deciding to spend time on writing a blog?  There are several things that moved me from inaction to action.  The first and most pressing is that I know I will have to write many papers in grad school.  Looming at the end of this five year endeavor is a dissertation, long and ominous.  Judging by the three papers I have already written, there are major kinks that need to be taken care of for me to not be completely overwhelmed and defeated by said monster dissertation in several years.  Also, I am hoping that my writing will improve faster, so that papers in the mean time will be less painful and end in more satisfaction and less resignation.  The second thing is people keep telling me to write more.  I heard one of my classmates give a personal testimony of how writing every day for 45 minutes last semester has helped him improve his writing.  In addition, by practicing his writing he has the added benefit of working ahead on many of his assignments, i.e. papers.  And of course there is my dad, who always encourages me and my brother to write more and practices writing more himself through blogs and book reports etc.  The third thing is that I actually enjoy some kinds of writing, and I take pleasure in feeling I have written something well.  My favorite kind of writing is reflective writing, because it helps me to sort out my thoughts and feelings.  I find it therapeutic and calming.  The fourth, and more immediate impetus, is as I mentioned already the article I read about experts, Supershrinks.  The article notes that the people who become the best in their field are those who practice skills a step above themselves, and who seek out feedback.

Thus I have undertaken a blog.  For now this is the purpose of my blog: to be a place to practice writing regularly and improve in all kinds of writing, but particularly academic writing.  To develop my voice.  To sort out my thoughts.  To write.  I know that I will be tempted to write only reflective posts, and not practice academic writing.  Since currently to me, academic writing is the bane of my existence, while reflecting is one of my favorite things to do and I feel I never have enough time to reflect.  So perhaps this blog will be a compromise, with some reflective posts, and, I sincerely hope, some academic posts.

Here are some of my ideas about what good academic writing entails: 1) Sources and familiarity with them.  I feel this is a step I often lack, since I procrastinate on writing papers and then feel I must move on to the actual writing so quickly that I do not take (or possess) the time to actually digest a source and become familiar with it.  2) Organization.  I feel this is an important step, and I often try to devote a large percentage of my time to this step, since I feel it really helps focus my writing and give me a plan for where to go.  Plus I am a planner at heart.  3) Writing.  Duh!  Yeah, this is the part where I sit down and try to write my paper, following my outline, and also being careful to figure out which source information is coming from and site a lot.  So this step incorporates steps 1 and 2 because I am using my sources and following the plan of my outline.  Usually I struggle with this step and I often wonder if it is because I haven't done steps 1 and 2 well.

For today I'll conclude that I've heard many people say to just sit down and start writing the paper.  The reason this rubs me so wrong is because what about sources!!!?  What about direction??  How can I sit down and start writing if I don't even know what I'm talking about?  How can I sit down and start writing without first figuring out the direction I want my paper to go?  So then I think to myself that probably what they really mean is, just sit down and start writing the paper after you've become fairly familiar with your sources and thought about what direction you would like your paper to go.